So during my two week break from hospitals /doctors / midwifes.
I done what I could in preparing my body for what lies ahead. I was ready to stare Cancer in the face.
Envelopes were shooting through my letter box from Vincent’s for various appointments. Hannah had been delivered no time was been wasted! The doctors had requested I have further tests. They need a bigger picture and with me pregnant at the time of diagnosis they were limited in what scans they could do. They had to check and see if cancer was present anywhere else in my body. What were we up against?
We were called for a meeting in the Breast care office Me my partner Breast Surgeon and Breast Care nurse. We decided it was best to go surgery route first we needed it gone ASAP. I was having surgery in the hope I would avoid chemo. I was so wrong !! I had went in with my decision that I wanted both my breasts gone I did not want to be sitting in this office again going shit it is now on the other side. No way! I want them gone now.
I had received my Gene test results the morning before so I had 24 hrs to ponder one boob or two. I tested positive for BRCA2 gene which increases my risk of developing breast cancer to about 85% and also a 34% chance of ovarian cancer. I had been saying since my mother tested positive. If I did I was going to have them both removed and get new perky boobs then hell ya but thought I had at least another 10 more years left with my ole nipples
But this was a totally different situation my left breast is going to be done as a preventive and my right side to get all the cancer out as soon as possible. I would be having a double Masectomy at 30 years of age!!
WTF is right as your prob thinking, you can imagine it’s a big decision to elect to have both your breasts taken off as well as pregnancy hormones, a new born and my mother. How the fuck was I still standing at this stage? The stakes are far too high. I had just had a beautiful baby girl she needs her Mom.
My MRI (Magnetic Resoning Imaging) was done on both breasts just before my 1st surgery I was warned that it may be painful the way you are positioned for the MRI on your breasts, you are lying on your stomach poking your breasts to square shaped holes covered in yet another blue gown. I had just delivered Hannah 2 weeks previous so they still felt like melons! I could not breast feed due to the Tumour so you can imagine they were pretty full. Any other time I could of fit two boobs in one of the holes LOL. Your lying in this position for 20 mins with your arms above your head. The MRI shows how large the cancer is and whether it involves any underlying muscle and if it is present in any lymph nodes.
I tested positive for the Cancer having spread to my lymph nodes, muscle and surrounding tissues ( fuck you cancer ) how many were infected We don’t know. I was still at this stage in turmoil with myself and everyone around me as my mum was going through chemo at the time. I seen the effects it has on your body first hand with my mother. I was not having Chemo!! No way was I putting that stuff in my body. The hair part wasn’t bothering me it was the poison they put in your body. I was looking at all my options. I said to the surgeon I want them gone. Both breasts get rid now Take them both might as well take the other one while your there. Risk is to high with the Gene. They were advising me against it as I had just had a baby this is big thing emotionally as well to deal with alone along with having your breasts gone . I didn’t care I had made my mind up anyone that knows me knows that I am stubborn bitch, so I wasn’t backing down with the breast surgeon. I want them gone. I do not want to be back here next year. My breast care team still advising me not to go through with it as they would have to remove lymph nodes as well. Recovery is a bit longer. I wont be able to lift Hannah up at all. We left the office that I would think about it. I was still adamant.
It was advised that as we are opting for surgery route first we need to know how far it has spread in the lymphatic system. I would need a Sentinel node biopsy 1st to see how many nodes were affected by cancer. This was scheduled for 9th September 3 weeks after giving birth no time like the present eh !
The day of my 1st surgery it is done as a day case. They inject a dye into your breast where the Tumour is, this goes automatically through your lymphatic system as your body try’s to process and eliminate it. It was pretty fecking sore and it’s full of radioactive dye!! Lovely but I get to be put asleep during it, nice aul rest for me 😉 The dye will show up the doctors once they make an incision under my arm and they then just cut a bunch of nodes. I had woke up and recovered grand feeling hungry and a bit sore nothing too major few pain killers and paper stitches I was grand. Come on I just had a baby 🙂
So we met with breast care again on the Friday following my day case surgery I am telling you I may have well had set up camp in Vincent’s at this stage. But they had results back from my sentinel node biopsy. 36 Lypmh nodes in total removed and 7 tested positive. He then said my tumour had increased in size since the last time he examined me. Remember it started out size of my baby nail it was now like a bloody golf ball. So all I can think in my head were they squeezing the boob of me while I was under. I know its there job but come on. Its how I roll.
Great news my tumour had been flipping spreading like wild fire throughout my breast. My surgery was originally schedule for 23rd Sept it was moved to the 16th what i had to get stuff organised it was Friday i was going to be going to hospital for a week and have my breast whipped off. The thought hadn’t even entered my mind about what it will look like after it was just get this cancer out and off me now. I didn’t care Read more
Ain’t nobody got time for Cancer !!
Well this week anyway 🙂
So after my meeting with my Breast surgeon and Breast care nurses following my diagnosis the decision was made that Hannah would need to be delivered early! My main concern was not was I gonna be OK. It was is Hannah ?
Scary stuff !! It’s daunting enough having a baby for the first time, but to be told we need this baby out as soon as possible but also safely. See If the birth ends up in a C section this will delay the starting date for Chemotherapy as I could spend up to 8 weeks healing. Chemotherapy delays healing time in the body even further increasing your risk of infection. So in order to avoid that my Obstetrician said there was no way in hell This is my 1st child and would end up in a C Section if delivered before that. By 38 weeks shes cooked 🙂
The girls even had to move my baby shower earlier, As we were not sure what was happening with the birth at the time, there was a big panic but they pulled out all the stops and made it one hell of a bash!
From eating melted mars bar out of nappies to the girls sucking the Helium filled Balloons even my Mother got in on that action. If I don’t mention the fab egg sambos that Nat made I will be shot 🙂 It was an a fun filled afternoon and emotional one to say the least but the girls done me good.
That’s the fucker cancer again ruining peoples plans !! Wedding plans got put on hold also !!!
So with my new due date the 19th of August looming nearer I was stressing over ante natal classes, I was under the care of the Community Midwifes throughout my pregnancy. They done my own personal ante natal classes due to my circumstances. Just so I would avoid any awkward questions like me having to explain that my Labour would not be the same as theirs. Mine was going to be an Induction.
So lying awake the night before giving birth all I kept thinking was what weight is she gonna be? who will she look like? Cancer wasn’t even given one thought!
We were at Holles street for 8 bells thanks to my dad who put his taxi plate on bus lane all the way mind you my stomach was like a washing machine so I prob would have gladly sat in traffic that morning. We were checked in and I got dressed into my lovely Labour nightdress and new slippers !! such style thank god you never have to wear them again 🙂 A nurse hooked me up to a monitor with straps placed around my stomach to check the baby heart and measure contractions. The nurse asked had I already been having some contractions ? I said slight cramps now and then yes !! Good ole Rasberry leaf tea I was drinking galons of the stuff this was not gonna be a C section.
So with an Induction they give you a Progresterone gel that is applied internally, this helps to thin out your cervix enabling the doctor to break my waters. This could take a few applications I was told 😦 I am not staying in the hospital till Friday this was my mantra Baby is coming tonight !!!!! The gel was only applied literally an hour, I started to have what felt like period pains nothing major I was up walking around the labour ward and bouncing on my ball trying to get things moving along. This continued for 3 hrs gradually the pain increasing over time but all bearable. Lucky I have high pain threshold.
I remember it was around 2pm I kept saying this baby is coming tonight I am not staying here till friday I’m defo in labour I know I am I was getting proper contractions now period pains intensified by 100 🙂 I proceeded to do my yoga positions I could see my other half Doyler looking at me going what is she doing! This got the baby down sooner and helped with my pain so I didn’t care what I looked like I would have even mooed like a cow doing my cat & cow positions had it got the baby down sooner also. lol
The Doctor came around to check my cervix, the gel had worked so well 1st go that they were able to break my waters. Well Holy Mother of Divine Jaysus I have never experienced anything so gross in my life. All hell had broke loose the contractions were kicked up a notch and getting more frequent. high pain threshold!!!! I lied who was I kidding I was in agony. I was starting to get apprehensive saying I’m in Labour, I’m in labour! The nurse didn’t believe me at first, I was no hero I was asking her for pain relieve at this stage! I was given two paracetamol what was she thinking ….
She got my midwife down to check me and I was 3 cm dilated. Lets get you to a delivery ward. I hobbled down still insisting I wanted the epidural. I could see by Doyler’s face ( he was defo thinking oh shit) Looking a few shades of grey as the reality sunk in what was going to happen soon. He kept checking with midwife each time nipping out for fags secretly hoping he would miss the birth and arrive once its out! Every lads dream. 🙂
Not a chance of that happen! By the time the Anesthetist came! she took forever she walked in looked at me said no way and walked back out I was gone to far for Epidural .I went from 3 to 7 in less than half hr. My midwife was sorting things out. No one was expecting me to go so quickly. Suddenly I had the urge to push removing the gas from my mouth I called midwife I was thinking where is Doyler !! The baby was coming now. He strolls in with my mam in tow the midwife spots his grey panicked face gives him a chair by me in case he decides to hit the deck. My mam to the rescue 🙂 She was on my left side fanning me down which was a god send at the time. My mam shouts she sees the head 7.45pm she was out with no trouble and no drugs I wouldn’t include the two paracetamol. I had giving birth to my beautiful girl weighing just 6lb 13oz she has some set of lungs she cried as soon as she came out. My mam cut the umbilical cord she was delighted. Very special moment indeed. She only had chemo the day before that. She is a trooper !!
My dad and my sister were out in the hallway waiting with balloons and Prosecco, my body was still shaking from the shock of just delivering a baby they are all drinking flipping prosecco !! It was all a bit surreal. All I wanted was a cup of tea and a bit of toast.
Then were back down to reality my baby is safe ten fingers ten toes perfectly healthy, Please god she doesn’t have BRCA 2 Gene !! 18 years of waiting until I can get her tested to see has she inherited my dodgy genes!!
Now to let the team in Vincents now I have had my baby wooo hoo they left me alone for a full two weeks to let me enjoy my baby.